Gispe Realm Transfer Part 2

What an amazing instance the “Outside” was. The shading, the lighting, the TREES! I love trees. “Look at that tree, I can actually see the texture of it! It’s not flat. If Blizzard could add this type of realism to a patch I can hardly wait for the expansion!”
“Can we just go before someone sees us?”
“Good idea, let’s go before we find a wondering elite in here, I’ll summon my Dreadsteed. FIERY HORSE COME TO M---,”
“Listen, Dad. I told mom I’d babysit you this afternoon, but I am not going to ride a fiery horse. Lets take the car.” Junior, always with the mouth.
“Fine lead the way to this car, you speak of.”
I followed my minion around the building we found ourselves outside of. As we rounded the final corner I saw the most miraculous example of Gnomish Engineering I have ever seen. It was blazing silver, with rounded corners, like an extra sleek battle tank.
“It’s beautiful. What do you call it?”
“It’s a minivan.”
“Minivan… Lets get in”
“I’ll drive, it will be safer that way”
“OK, what’s the closest flight path?”
“Why don’t you take a nap while I drive us there. You’ll need your rest, you have a big day ahead of you…” Hmm, thoughtfulness from the minion, he must be up to something.
“No that’s ok, I think I’ll just watch… to make sure you don’t try anything.”
“Suit yourself but it will be awhile.”
Man was he not kidding. I’ve flown from Zul Aman to Booty Bay before, just to see how long it would take, but this instance was insane! 2 ½ hours. I had to keep moving so to avoid going AFK. I hope this drive time gets nerfed a bit in a patch. But finally we did arrive and apparently this was the place to be on this server.
“Wow look at all these people, they’re everywhere! Hmm that group of people have weird glow things on? Must be the special festival loot, lets get one.”
“Ok lets go buy one then if you want.” Again being nice, not his style.
“Nonsense! There has to be tokens or marks we need to get. Lets go pick up some food and water from a vendor.”
I walked over and pushed my way to the front.
“Hey Buddy, the line starts in back”
“You are such a Noob. No lines needed, Vendors can talk to everyone at the same time” Man I hate Newbies, stay in the starting area until you learn how to play.
“OK hmm your list says ‘Bratwurst with Sauerkraut’ what Buffs does that give?”
“I’m sorry, what?” This vendor sure didn’t seem too bright.
“I’m hoping for plus Stamina and Spell Damage, but nothing listed. Does it give anything?”
“I guess it gives gas? Does that help you?” She was looking at me funny.
“Hmm, not really, but if it’s all you got. I’ll take 20.”
“Dad, you don’t need 20, try 2. One for me one for you.” Ahh I see his game now
“How dumb do I look. Minions don’t eat.” Not going to trick me this time. “I’ll take 20. Just through them into this bag”
The vendor seemed perplexed but gave me the 20. I also picked up 20 sodas. As I walked away I heard the vendors talking “Hey Shelly, another nut job just came through.”
Now down to business. Buff food. Check. Water. Check. Group. Hmm time to spam general. I cleared my throat.
“High DPS, LFG for Festival event”
“Seriously Dad, don’t do this to me.”
“Quiet. We’ll be fine. Worst case if this instance gets to bad, I’ll send you in to Aggro, then I’ll sacrifice you for the bubble. I got plenty of shards left I’ll resummon you.”
“You’re going to what?!?! Is that even legal?” No more reasoning with a demon, down to business.
Hmm no responses, maybe trade then. “Lock LFG Heroic. IMBA 219”
I looked around no responses. And everyone was looking at me like they didn’t understand a word I was saying. Then it hit me.
“OMG they’re all HORDE!!!!”
There was no time to think, if this was a PVP server I was screwed. I opened my bag and started pulling out my PVP gear. It seemed the Horde here found it funny to find a lonely Lock Gnome in the middle of them. They started laughing at me. The more PVP gear I put on the more they laughed and taunted me.
“Junior I don’t get it. Why aren’t they running? Look at them, they all look like low level cloth wearers.”
“Gee, wonder why they would be laughing at a half naked man putting funny clothes on… They must not respect the game. Hey I’ll be over there, away from you” He started heading towards the closest group.
“Good Attack!” But then he just disappeared. Gone. Damn, I’ll have to resummon him later.
By this point the laughing had stopped. In fact the Horde’s started looking like they were afraid of me, slowly backing up.
“See, finally looked me up on IMBA now. Did some Inspects haven’t you. Realized ‘You are not prepared’. Good watch out I’m top DPS on this server!”
Someone tapped my shoulder from behind.
“Sir what seems to be the problem?” Two men stood before me with guns and badges. Everyone around seemed to fear them and back away, as if to worry these two men would banish them or worse. Hmm, must be GM’s.
“Well sir, I’m trying to get a group together to run some instances here, but these Horde are taunting me and camping spawn points.”
“Yeah, well Sir, I think I’m gonna have to ask you to put your clothes, costume, stuff back on and leave.”
“Well I was in the middle of putting my PVP gear on when you showed up, I was worried this was a PVP server.”
“I don’t really care sir, I just need you to leave before I arrest you.”
The other GM spoke “Ahh Jim let me give this a shot, I think this guy is one of those people we had training about last week.”
“Really. Damn I thought that was a practical joke.” The first one responded
“OK Um Sir, what is your name?”
“Gispe, the Gnome Evangelist”
“OK Gispe,” He looked like he was trying to remember a script, “Welcome to the Real World Realm. We appreciate and value your input as a customer, but unfortunately at this time, this server is full. - ” I cut him off.
“Hold on a second I am not paying for a realm transfer!”
“We are offering free transfers back to whatever server you came from.”
“Well good then. This new instance is sure pretty to look at, but I haven’t seen a single mob yet. The vendors are rude, the flight paths are horrible. No good loot tablesI think you guys need to work on it.”
Junior came back just as I had finshed putting my Raiding gear back on.
“Ready to go” he asked
“Yeah. I’m tired, can you get us back?”
“Ahh, little guy had a big day?” I nodded, “you just rest. When you wake up you’ll be back in Nazgrel and ready to tell everyone about your adventures.”
Nazgrel - Home Sweet Home